A note to my students:
Most of you have never been to New Orleans. I grew up in the South, but only geography makes New Orleans part of the South. The people are different and that is wholly a good thing. Most of you are New Englanders. The differences between the two are about as far apart as the 1500 mile van trip you are about to undertake.
I am still learning, but I’m willing to share some of the insights that I have gained over the years. I may not be entirely fluent, but let me try my best to interpret.
Spotted Cat, Frenchmen Street, March 2008.
People in New Orleans are naturally polite. It’s not artifice; it’s who they are. They smile. They hold doors for you. They call you “baby,” or “shug,” or “darling” because that’s the way they were taught. There’s nothing in it for them, but consider it a good thing for you. Picture a situation in Boston’s North End. You park your car a bit too close to the car behind you. When you come back, the other driver says: “Hey asshole, why’d you block me in?” And there would be gestures. In New Orleans, that exchange might translate to something like this: “Hey podna, would you mind pulling forward a little so I can get out?”
People in New Orleans are seldom in a hurry. That does mean that they don’t speed on I-10, because they do. But at the same time, they will slow down to let someone merge. At a traffic signal, they might linger a moment – while the New Englander behind them is laying on the horn. The checker at the Rite Aid may be a lot more interested in telling a co-worker about her date, than in ringing out your order. And the more impatient you get, the slower she’ll get. In New Orleans, Friday lunches can take all afternoon. Don’t expect the smaller aspects of life to move any faster.
Conversation with homeowner, Chalmette, St. Bernard Parish, LA, March 2006.
People in New Orleans will talk to anyone at anytime about anything. In New Orleans, speech is not a mode of communication; it is an art. New Englanders are famous for their economy of words. New England produced President Calvin “Silent Cal” Coolidge. Enough said. New Orleans produced Danny Barker, jazz musician and story teller. He returned home to help carry on the jazz traditions, as much through his words and stories, as his banjo and guitar. In New Orleans, when people ask you “where y’at?” i.e. “how are you?” they really want to know. It is not a pleasantry, it is a conversation starter. And you have to do your part.
People in New Orleans never apologize for having a good time. Remember the Friday lunch. Life in New Orleans can be like that. It’s unmistakable and I think it stems from New Orleans’ precarious existence on the edge. From the beginning, whether it was from spring flood, summer pestilence, fall hurricane, or the threat of attack from another world power, life was fragile. “Hey 8,000 people died of yellow fever this summer, have another drink!” Let’s parade, let’s dance — let’s live for the moment. This sensibility hasn’t always served New Orleans well, especially in the eyes of the puritanical nation in which it resides. Last year, I was at a second line parade on a brutally raw and windy Sunday afternoon in a struggling part of the city. As we waited for the procession to come to us, I asked the woman next to me why she out on such an unpleasant afternoon. She opened her eyes and arms wide for expression and said: “this is what we do!”
Queen of the second line, March 2010.
People in New Orleans still appreciate the work of volunteers. When I first came down in 2006, there were few residents to talk to. It was much like a war zone and it was clear that any effort was an improvement. Over the years, I’ve been waiting for the welcome to wear off, but at least through last spring, it has not. In New England, be prepared to be asked: “why are you going down there? What do you mean they haven’t fixed it yet?” On the other hand, people in New Orleans know that 80% of the city was covered in water. The city has lost nearly 30% of its population since 2000, and that is largely from the lack of affordable, livable housing. Be prepared, because New Orleans people will stop to thank you for what you are doing.
Thank you for appreciating our differences as opposed to making it seem as if we know nothing and all we want to do is party. I still “make groceries ” from time to time, speak when a total stranger makes eye contact, and will have a hot sausage and grits for breakfast…because “baby that’s what we do!” And P.S…I am a proud graduate of LSU and hold my MBA from the University of New Orleans…But baby I’m gon’ always be from New Orleans way out there in Michoud.
Love it Kimberly! Your response makes me miss it all the more.
Sorry, I grew up in New Orleans and although there are many positive aspects to it, I do not agree with this assessment.
My husband and I lived in New Orleans for six years, and 2 of our 3 children were born there. The first one arrived when she was six weeks old, and she’s the one who especially misses it. The city holds a special place in our hearts, and it was Katrina that drove us away…. All of what you said is true and part of what we miss; thank you for sharing your words about this amazing place
People from the Northeast rely on cheap stereotypes to exoticize black people as fundamentally different from every other fucking person everywhere.
One of the most important sayings you neglected to mention: “How’s ya mom an nem?” I’m in Lafayette working on my B.S, but I’m from Chalmette, and proud to call it home. Thank you so much for volunteering and understanding that we aren’t looking for handouts, we appreciate the help.
I love how’s ya mom an ‘em, ya herd!, aaaah-ite. I grew up in NOLA i miss it from time to time
Maybe you should edit your story to say some people in New Orleans (or many people, or most people even.) Because I’m from New Orleans and neither I nor most of the people I know or have interacted with in my entire life fit that description. I’m 38 and work in retail, so plenty of opportunity exists.
I grew up about ten minutes outside of the city for much of my childhood and then about 45 minutes north in MS, and also spent a year after college outside of Boston. I appreciate your article, and I love my city. What strikes me as funny is perception. Compared to Bostonians, my city folk are courteous drivers, but growing up Mama and them would always say, “You gotta be ready when you drive into New Orleans-those people will just cut you off.”
This is a highly romanticized view of New Orleans and omits the many toxic aspects of the city. One reason the volunteers are welcomed back over and over again is because the citizens of New Orleans lack a real work ethic. They are happy to have others put in the sweat. The city has enormous disparities of wealth and poverty. There is a sickening-level of crime, from that perpetuated by politicians to street crime where people are so often murdered that a killing doesn’t make the front of the Times-Picayune unless there are at least three victims. The educational system has been dysfunctional for decades (though it may be improving a little now). The court system and the city jail are national disgraces. Corruption is rampant. The State of Louisiana, of which New Orleans is a part, brings up the rear on almost every measure of a good life. Louisianians used to be glad that Mississippi and Arkansas were in the union because that usually assured us a 47th place on these scales. Alas, I think we are now 50th. I hope that your students get some real information instead of (or at least in addition to) this magnolias and moonlight bs.
I found this on a FB share–and I love it. I moved to from Arkansas to Nola three weeks after Hurricane Katrina and ended up staying almost 5 years. What an experience that was!! Don’t get me wrong, Arkansas is definitely southern and growing up a farm I know all about that–but New Orleans–well that’s an entirely different culture. It’s such a mixing pot of people and languages. The food and drinks never stop coming and there is always a reason to have a party! You are absolutely right–the people of Nola live for the moment!!
Good job, Mr. Wooly! You hit the nail on the head. I’m a 5th generation New Orleanian who can’t imagine living anywhere else. Your article reminded me of what I take for granted in my upbringing in Mid City. I forget that not everyone is as polite as folks are down here. People here really do care about one another and it transcends racial lines. We all continue to appreciate the volunteers who come down to help. The volunteers need to know that we are hear to stay and have our own culture so join in our culture while you are here. People are people period and they care about each other even if they don’t know each other. I’m sure you had limited space and did a great job with your limited space. But you missed one seriously important item that makes New Orleans, well, New Orleans…..the food! The food here is simply amazing. A melting pot of cultures, New Orleans has made food an art form as well as a social art form (crawfish boil, anyone – you will have to explain that one to your students!) We are brought up this way. My husband (from Memphis) does not understand the significance of making gumbo. It’s like a religion and you have to do it just right. Students, y’all have a great time in New Orleans. Enjoy it for what it is and not what it should be. That’s how we live and we are proud of it!
Great Article!! Relaxed, easy going, unique and different is a good thing! God just made us that way!
This captured the spirit of my home beautifully! Thank you so much for this. As I sipped my latte in Texas (which I call home now), I was brought back to Elysian Fields Avenue where I grew up. All I need now is a beignet!
Sounds like you got it right, so you’re welcomed to start calling it home when your ready. Ya heard me.
I can think if more than 5. Hows your mama and dem.
You have it mostly correct about New Orleans except for the driving a car part. We don’t use our turn signals here because there are more than a few drivers who will speed up to block your access to changing lanes. For some reason, these drivers become a different personality when behind the wheel. Also, by and large, drivers don’t respect pedestrians and bicycle riders. Never assume a driver will give you the right of way when you are walking or riding a bike.
Beautiful article, living in Texas now, and I always say” I say in Allen,Tx, but I live in NOLA.
I’m a transport from the West Coast & live on the Northshore (across Lake Ponchartrain from NO). I agree with everything you said. I also know of the love of the beautiful, natural environment & how they want to preserve it. It is a great place to live!!!
Reblogged this on The Many (Mis-)Adventures of Kittu Pannu and commented:
This sums up my experiences growing up in the best city in the South: NOLA. Of all the things that occur in my life that I may be odds with, me being brought up in NOLA is definitely something I’m content with. There is just a rich culture and history, full of amazing stories and amazing people.
I’m a positive guy by nature, and because I was born here in N.O., I relate to almost everything you pointed out (but because of my profession, I’m in a hurry a lot more than I should be). Despite that optimism and positive outlook, it’s hard to ignore the crime. It’s BAD. Violence is a part of life here. If you live here long enough you’ll eventually notice something that ALL of us natives know exists. Of course going into detail would probably be interpreted as racism, but that would be from people who don’t live here. I’ve known people who moved here from all over the country, and it wasn’t long before they got tired of attitude. There isn’t one native who would truthfully disagree with me. The way we want things to be, and the way they actually are, aren’t always the same. Most people here want harmony, but the culture of hate directed toward white people in the city is too much to overcome (remember our mayor saying N.O. will always be a “Chocolate City”?). This isn’t a sweeping indictment of every resident. But it is prevalent enough to make a difference. Like the old saying goes, it’s a great place to visit, but…
I live in Houston now and my daughter is absolutely mortified about the fact that I talk to anyone anywhere. She can’t understand the need for me to talk to random people in the grocery line or at the doctor’s office. LOL One thing you left out though is the food thing. While other southern regions focus on food and try to feed everyone, people from New Orleans take it to a whole different level. While most southerners will make a simple casserole to take to a sick friend, us from New Orleans will bring you enough food to feed a small army for a month. And it definitely ain’t gonna be no casserole.
Incidentally, I used to wait tables and was once reprimanded for calling my customers “baby”, “darling” and “sweetheart”. I quit it immediately.
I am so glad someone sees the true culture. This is the way we are raised. Thank you so much for this article. I am from 60 miles south of New Orleans and we needed some positive publicity.
I live in New Orleans and for the most part, the article is correct. The only thing I disagree with is the comment about courteous drivers. Cross the Causeway Bridge, 45 miles away, in Mandeville and Covington, you will find a nicer, quieter way of living. Since Katrina, however some of New Orleans has moved to the Mandeville Covinton area
Yeah you rite!!!
Thanks for all your words that speak of the hearts of New Orleanians. We are all that and then some because we know what it means….
Yeah you right bra
I was a Yankee living in New Orleans in the 80′s – you cannot help but embrace the culture and the language- I made groceries, wanted to know “how’s your Mom and ‘em” , figured out the best place to watch a parade, learned how to eat crawfish, loved the fact that there was a bar on every corner (no driving), found myself saying “Dawlin- I love your hair” – or- which festival we going to this weekend – there is nothing like it – I miss it dearly.
From New Orleans. Lives there most my life. When Katrina hit and I had to move up north, my elders thought I was sarcastic. Nope, I was only from the south.
cyndi
i have visited your wonderful city -i find every word written true–by myself no one has to wonder about asking directions or where to go–my daughter lived there many years till katrina forced here back to fla=still goes back all the time–no place else to be from–she is & always be….
I love the laid back attitude,was there last week and ordered a drink and some food and went to pay with my credit card…..they told me cash only. I apologized and said I would go to ATM. The response was eat, drink and when you are done you can go!!! When I finished they told me to go when I needed and they would pour me another drink so it was ready upon my return!!!! Great hospitality…..
Yeah you right!
Kimberly, that was great. I’m a 4th generation New Orleanian, my children are 5th and my grandchildren are 6th. I live in Atlanta now, but would give anything to moe back home again. where ya at????? Is just a perfect way of saying ” Hi, how are you!!!!!
Different opinion.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/new-orleans-murder-rate
NOLA residents are kind, caring and personable. It’s the way we are raised. Talking to straneger is just the tip of the iceberg. If you tell us about your family, you had best bet we will remember what you said and ask about them should we meet again. We embrace and celebrate our culture and cuisine. Hell, we are one of the few places in the United States that truely has their own culture and cuisine.We enjoy, cherish and revel in all that life in NOLA has to offer and can’t understand why others don’t seem to love their homes quite as much as we do. A woman may leave for a bit, but you can be sure she will move home to NOLA. And contrary to popular belief, we can ALWAYS come back home! The slow pace of life here ensures it. I have said it before, but it warrants repeating. In NOLA, the excitement never stops, New Years, Mardi Gras, St Patricks Day, French Quarter fest, Jazz Fest, Strawberry Festival, PoBoy Festival, Blues Festival, The Saints …well, you get my drift. It is a tough life when you have to do all of that celebrating. It is a sacrifice all who live in NOLA make for the rest of the world. We are happy to bear that cross and enjoy life to the fullest!! Please come and visit us. We would love to meet you and share our beloved city with you. And if you find that you are lost or have a question, don’t worry, we love talking to strangers. NOLA is in our hearts and souls. We wouldn’t want it any other way!
You nailed it, babe!
Agreed.
Or, in New Orleans vernacular, “Yeah ya rite!”
I’ve always said, New Orleans is not part of the south, It’s the northern most point of the Caribbean. :@)
Well written…WHO DAT
Just received this via FB, but I luv it!! Our New Orleans Culture is misunderstood by many, which don’t bother us at all. Ya’ see many New Englanders will retire and move to New Orleans, no New Orleanians will retire and move to New England, just the way it is. New Orleanians don’t like snow, unless it’s in a cup and has flavored syrup on it. The hotter the better, like tabasco sauce. If it walks, crawls, slithers, etc…we have a receipe to cook it. We celebrate life and death, both are only given to us once. Meet New Orleanians in New England; we’re on vacation or a business trip. New Orleanians tend to not venture far from home, nobody else cooks like us. So ya see New Englanders, ya’ll come on down and join us sha, we appreciate all ya’ll have done for helping us “get back home”.
One exception to the article. We would not say “podna”. That person would be a transplant from Texas. We would say “boo”. And no one would take it as sexist.
Thank you so much for understanding how we live. Thank you for comming so many time to help us. We are an island of play in a very puritanical, nation. But those New Orleanians that find thier way here, make us better, and richer, and we have more fun with them.New Orleans is not just a place, its a full and rich way of life.Merci beaucoup mon amie, toujours bienvienu en neuvellle orleans.
Interesting…other than the speech notation, the characteristics you write about are applicable to areas outside New Orleans and Louisiana for that matter. I’m from a different state and I’d say that a majority of people would say this about my state as well.
Yes that is what we do and who we are, I don’t know any other way. Come back soon darlin !
Thank you for being a person that applauds who we are and recognizes it is special. As someone who lived out of state for fifteen years and have just returned, I understand ‘my people’ more than ever. I often felt I had to apologize about being from the South, for saying ‘yes ma’am’ and always had to explain why I was making groceries, my love of football above all else and why I asked ‘where yat’ – and I appreciate when someone understands, accepts and loves ‘my’ town. No lie, it is good to be back home.
I love this article this is truly they way we are. Yes we do still make groceries, but we have excellent hospitality.
I liked the article. I moved to New Orleans in 1985, it was a cultural shock at the time. Now it’s a way of life. How’s your mama?
I am born and raised in the Big NO and very much appreciate you pleasent comments. But I am also conflicted. My mother was a Yankee from Boston and although her family of 11 siblings have spread across America, I have found that my Yankee relatives can be just as pleasent as us. And in defense of Yankees everywhere; If I lived where my ass was frozen half the year, and I got snowed in EVERY year (as opposes to hit or miss hurricanes) I would probably be a little more uptight. Everybody really wants to be nice to each other, but what you are frozen most of the time you become “cold.” Why don’t y’all all come done here and chill in our warmth.
Two points where you are absolutely correct. New Orelans is not part of the south. It’s really not part of North America either. I just happens to be on that continent. New Orleans is a Caribbean city.
The dead are always with us in New Orleans and we never forget it. Our above ground cemeteries are one of the first thing you will see when coming in from the airport. They are more important than most realize.
I love being born and raised in such an awesome city. We know how to love and enjoy life here. Even hurricanes can’t stop us, we just name our drinks hurricane. We love to eat, party and pass a good time May Sha!!
Mr. Ross, I saw a post about your blog and I want to thank you for all you and your students have done for my beautiful city. Your post on our differences brought me to tears. You speak about NOLA with passion and pride. Like those of us who call this city home, it’s obviously in your blood. I’m sure you are familiar with Chris Rose; a local journalist who summed us up just as nicely as you do. “We dance when there is no music. We drink at funerals. We talk to much and live to large and, frankly, we’re suspicious of those that don’t.” This is one of my favorite quotes. I will now think of you and Chris Rose when I hear these words. We look forward to welcoming you back!
This makes me a little sad–not for those of us who live in and around New Orleans, for whom this is a way of life–but for the many others who don’t live this way, or understand it. In the south, there are no strangers, just friends we haven’t yet met. We can always find (or create) a cause for celebration. Heck, even our funerals are parades and jazz. Life is good in the Big Easy. C’mon down and be part of the joie de vivre!
Bill, thank you so much for your volunteer work here and most importantly, for your deep appreciation of our amazing city.
I read your blog about the Where Y’at course on New Orleans and think the class sounds awesome. Not sure if you’re still teaching this course, but I’m glad that someone who truly appreciates the beautiful eccentricity of NoLa will be educating students about our culture.
I thought you might be interested in a program we are starting at he University of New Orleans. The program, called “Storyville,” will bring works of creative nonfiction by Creative Writing students at UNO to the airwaves via WWNO, an affiliate of NPR.
If you’d like to donate to our project, of course we’d appreciate it. But either way, thought you might be interested in accessing some of our stories for use in your class! The stories will feature the special kind of outlandish people, places, and events that make New Orleans such a strange and wonderful place. (Our stories are nonfiction cause you really can’t make this stuff up).
Happy Jazz Fest!
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/storyville/storyville-voices-from-the-university-of-new-orlea
You capture the spirit of New Orleans and her citizens rather accurately and eloquently. While most people do not understand our way of life; nor our defiant persistence to build a life under sea level, we welcome anyone who wants to experience what it is that makes New Orleans such a wonderful place to live. We have a love of life and celebrate it in a way only we can. While we do not expect others to understand us, we welcome anyone who comes here and appreciate their efforts in rebuilding the city we love; our home.
so very true only hope it stays this way and we don/t forget how unique we are in time of disaster we help each other and become as one unit instead of different ones.
Podna? Maybe in a James Lee Burke novel, but I have yet to hear that term in New Orleans. And I am a native. Also are you sure you were driving I-10? That statement that they will slow down to let you merge is completely laughable!! 9 times out of 10 when you use a proper signal (the turn signal thingy on your steering column that most New Orleanians don’t even know exist), and in doing so, exhibit proper signalling and courtesy, most drivers will see that as a sign to speed up and try to cut you off from merging into their lane. I drive I-10 daily and most drivers are complete asssholes out there.
Thank you for this! Living in L.A. almost 6 years now and the things I miss about home are the little things… the way people smile for no reason at all, say “excuse me” when they cross in front of you at the grocery store, and the way people not only speak, but WAVE to passing strangers… cuz, “You look like somebody I know… are you kin to the ______?” and thus the conversation begins. When I’m frustrated with the hectic rush of L.A., remembering the NOLA way is the tonic that soothes my soul. We’re not being polite; we are polite. It’s in our blood. It’s in our soul. Hospitality? We do dat. We are dat. We live dat.
[...] Five Ways People in New Orleans are Different from Us. [...]
New Englander here. Do I see an ethnic slur in the North End? Would I stand more of a chance getting shot at my car in Boston or NOLA. Do I have to walk down the middle of the street in new England to prevent getting mugged? NOLA is wonderful but you could have made your point jut as well without the negativity about others.
I just finally read your blog thanks to my sister-n-law, Debbie Who Dat Bossier, who posted it on facebook. Everything you wrote is so true. I have had the pleasure of visiting many states from the west to the east coast, north, south and all in between but I have yet to find a place I would call home like I have here in New Orleans. Some see us as a glutton for punishment but I see us as a community that is willing to take on all odds and adversities to preserve a lifestyle that is rich in culture and traditions; ultimately leading to good times and so much more. We are more about company then we are about parties. All the devastation, gave very sincere others an opportunity to experience first hand what we’ve been knowing all along. We have increased company and I see that as a good thing. As a Realtor, over the last few years, I have seen a lot of people lose their jobs and houses but they are not giving up their home. That says alot in itself. Thanks for sharing your story. It is a good one. Mei Bossier
Great story, and so true! That’s what makes people from New Orleans.Louisiana SO SPECIAL!! We just have to believe it OURSELVES!! Believe me if you ever leave, you’ll be right back, there’s just something that you feel in your mind and heart, this is where you belong. So go if you feel you must, its OK, you’ll be back, I promise you that!!
Born and bread and probably will be dead in New Orleans. The article is a grand example of New Orleans people but there is so, so, so much more.